To support parents and carers to be connected with their self and their story so they can provide healthy connection with the children in their care.
Before I can connect with others, I need to connect with Myself.
Healthy, safe connection provides experiences that enable the different parts of the brain to work together. When children are seen and heard, their brains establish pathways that enable them to be aware of what is happening for their, selves and others.
Forty years ago, I began a career in counselling with a degree in Social Sciences and later a Graduate Diploma in Counselling. I was very involved in church. Christian faith was my foundation. I wanted to bring together secular and spiritual understanding. I learnt the connection between body, mind and spirit. from people such as Ian Gawler working with cancer sufferers, Bessel van der Kolk working with trauma survivors, Ed Smith seeking to provide spiritual healing practices in church settings, Stephen Porges and Bonnie Badenoch, understanding the body brain connection and, how we affect each other. I learnt about hearing and valuing people’s stories from Michael white and Narrative Practices. My passion was to find ways for people who had experienced severe trauma to experience love, joy and peace so they can provide healthy care and connection to others. My experiences led me away from organized religion and formal churches, but I never lost connection with a loving God. The journeys I have taken with others have privileged me to witness God in many ways.
To give parents and carers the skills, tools, knowledge and experiences to connect with themselves so they can provide the children in their care with safe nurture. It is never too late to establish the neural pathways that enable safe connection.
- Individual and family dyad (couples, parent/child, siblings) counselling,
- Supervision and debriefing for individuals and teams,
- Workshops to enable us to address our own trauma so we do not pass it on to the children in our care.
- Individual and group retreats to process trauma and tell our stories.
Remembering who you are and what is important to you, Connecting with your body and what it is telling you, Writing your story putting emotions images and perceptions where they belong.
5 workshops. Four or Seven hours in your workplace or team.
“Your workshops on Trauma will help people to feel free to better understand themselves – that’s what that one workshop did for me. So, thank you”. Kristen. Family worker.
Understanding Trauma
The many kinds of trauma. What we do to cope. Fight, flight freeze.
The Trauma of neglect. Coping without attachment. Fix and focus
How the brain stores and processes distress. Restoring the sense of self that trauma undermines and/or establishing the self that complex trauma fails to develop.
Attending to unmet needs.
Being the Safe Place. For Parents, Teachers, Carers.
Understanding How our stress makes us unsafe. How to process stress and distress, to provide the safety the children in our care need. Understanding the vagus nerve and Polyvagal theory.
Breathe, Feel, Story, Attend.
When Helping You is Hurting Me. Minimise the ripple effects of trauma.
How working with people affected by trauma and stress, affects us. (Trauma exposure response or Secondary trauma.)
Maintaining a strong sense of self while providing the support people need.
- Simple tools to understand, recognise and process trauma and secondary trauma
- Ways of understanding and working with the “Social Engagement System”. (Polyvagal Theory)
- Those with large capacity for empathy are most at risk of trauma exposure response. They have learnt that “being there for others” was more important than being there for themselves. They need to learn to be there for themselves.
- Develop simple, realistic plans to attend to the stress chemicals your body accumulates working with those affected by trauma.
The Art and Science of Writing your Story. (7 hours)
A chance to take time out to practice storying their lives and understand the science of telling the story.
Writing your life story is important to process events of the past so the emotions they were not safe to have, do not overwhelm the present.
Safe, scientific processes for putting your story together by being both proactive and reactive; understanding your reactions in the present and put them where they belong in events of the past.
Contact Mary at mary@bmsconnection.com.au for more information and to book your workshop.
Free Articles
Understanding Trauma.
Sharing the Responsibility; establishing trauma safe workplaces.
Protecting ourselves from the effects of working with trauma.
Being the safe Place.
Contact Mary mary@bmsconnection.com.au and she will send a copy of the articles requested.
Publications
The Self, Lost and Sound.
A journey of the spirit. Restoring the sense of self after trauma.
“I felt as if this book was written just for me as I identified strongly with so much that was written. This is the most readable and clearly written practical guide for both personal healing and working with trauma that I have ever read. It is a must for all trauma counsellors who seek ways to effectively and empathically work with survivors of violence and trauma.”
Available from Mary at $32 including postage. mary@bmsconnection.com.au
Creating New Futures.
Becoming the Parent you Want your Child to Have.
“And they said there was no manual for the job when I became a parent. Here it is! This is as close as you will get to a practical, sensible, “how to be a great parent” manual. Full of wisdom and practicality, this book is a must read for anyone who is a parent or is contemplating becoming a parent.” Family Support Worker, mother and teacher.
Facilitating parenting and anger workshops I realised the problem for parents was that children’s behaviour was triggering parents into their own unprocessed trauma. People believed they had no control over their actions and reactions. I developed parenting courses informed by the writings of Dan Siegel, Bessel van der Kolk, and Narrative practices based on the understanding that parents were reacting to their children from their own unprocessed trauma, their own un-storied experiences.
Available from Mary at $32 including postage. mary@bmsconnection.com.au
Free Resources
